Social Distancing Report:)

 •        Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The 

          other half will come out with a drinking problem. 

•        I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it 

          like I'm cracking a safe.

•        I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

•        Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The 

          Bedroom

•        PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas 

          will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

•        Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 

          teacher fired for drinking on the job.

•        I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go 

          from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone

•        This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she 

          thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we 

          laughed a lot.

•        Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have 

          to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how 

          this place is still in business.

•        My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I 

          pee it cleans the toilet.

•        Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb 

          threat.

•        I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?

•        Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand 

          sanitizer for good clean fun.

•        Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same 

          teacher next year".... I'm offended.

•        Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under